Hey, Tom here.  So, it's a bit late.  I'm a bit buzzed, and I will say that it probably seems a bit ironic, or worse, just predictable, that I'm blogging while drinking and this blog is basically all about how I cannot get a job.  The thing is, this is my first day of blogging and you don't know me well yet.  The irony of the situation is that I used to be a very heavy partier.  Throughout my youth it was common in the circles that I ran with to drink heavily, and do a wide variety or drugs.  I am always an over achiever, and happen to be a night person so, in every given situation, I was that guy who would drink more than everyone else, stay up the latest and do the most drugs.  At the same time, I was also the guy that everyone gave their keys to to drive their cars home at the end of the night because I was the best at driving drunk.  I would also be the guy to tuck people into bed at night after long nights on psychedelics, because I would just stay up for hours, maybe even a full day drinking and partying after putting them to bed.
So...  I was kind of, in a twisted sort of way, the most responsible, completely fucked up person ever.  More recently however, I have turned over a new leaf.  I got into a new relationship a few years ago which has been very healthy for me.  I quit smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco.  Long ago I vastly slowed down on doing all drugs, including even pot, however, these days, I do none, and very rarely even drink.  I am like a different person.  A model citizen.  This is where the irony that I previously spoke of enters the conversation.
You see, when I was getting wasted all the time, I had all sorts of friends.  Also, and possibly {or partially} as a product of this I had tons of girls all over me all of the time.  Girls like guys with lots of friends.  And guys with lots of friends, who get lots of pussy, have tons of self esteem.  Guys with lots of self esteem look great to employers.  This is part of my question...  Currently, I am way smarter, way more reliable, and way more capable of getting any job done than ever before in my life.  Yet, I seem to be way less hire-able.  The thing is, I doubt that I come across as un-fun or something like that.  I'm still me.  In fact, I would jump at the opportunity to go out after work with the guys for a beer.  That would be great.  I'm just trying to tell you people that at this point in my life, I drink way less that even the average corporate dork who goes out for a beer once in a while, because I just have been out of work for so long.  I simply have nobody to drink with, and I find drinking alone incredibly boring.
Anyway, I'm certainly drunk now, and getting sidetracked...  The question was...  is it imaginable that it may be better for my career, for me to be a single, constantly hung over, party animal type guy, hooking up with every girl in the office, than it is for me to be just a hard working, smart, dedicated, loyal, responsible, employee?  So far, in my life, the evidence says indisputably says that I should just live day to day, party my ass off, and be the life of the party.  Everyone will love me, nobody will really take me seriously, but whatever.  Jobs are really never as hard as people make them out to be anyway.  If they like you enough they will just promote you.  I'm a fucking retard when I'm drinking and hung over at work all the time, but if it is better in the long run for my career, maybe it is the way to go.  It certainly be better for my health, but it makes for an interesting debate.  The thing is...  I've worked so hard t get as healthy as I am now, and I feel like I'm in such a great position to be such a great employee for someone compared to what I used to be.  But it used to be so easy for me to get a job.  Now, I've been trying for months and months.  Fuck.  I'm going to bed.

What is wrong with me?

At one time I had many friends in this town, but after years of not having enough money to hang out with them, we have grown apart. I am a smart, educated, handsome, hard working and experienced 33 year old white man. I'm not racist, so don't go assuming that I am because I mentioned that I am white. If you go that route, you are the ignorant dumb ass. I am simply telling you that I am white, so that you can understand that I have every advantage in the world as far as getting a job. Just about every study available will tell you that college educated white males are the most hire-able people in this country by far. That is why EOE programs exist. And in this country, there is no reason why I should not be able to easily get a job, unless there is something wrong with me. So, what is it?

First Post

First post. Simple enough. Not that it matters. Fuck it. I suppose I'm writing this as a way to vent. My mind has so much time to wander. I keep thinking maybe I will write a fucking book. But I'm not so into non-fiction, and this is what I really want to talk about.

I could go on for a while more about that. Just ramble. Maybe that's what I should be doing. I'm just not really sure. But the thing is... I think that this is the reason that I chose to write a fucking blog over a fucking book. Let me put it to you as succinctly as possible...

If I wrote a book, it is without question, that I would put a lot of effort into it. I would most likely, after many months, end up with something much better than most of the garbage that gets published. But I grew up poor. I am not connected to any publishers, or obviously, anyone else. At the end of the day, my novel would be like my college degree. Useless paper. Just heavier to carry.

So, here we are. I am going to blog. I can say what's on my mind, and at the same time, whether it is true or not, I can have an idea in my mind that someone is listening. Possibly even relating to what I am saying. So hi. My name is Tom.